As streams of messages were wishing me “Merry Christmas” I was squeezing my body to comfort myself from the pain of the dreaded COVID, missing my family, friends, food and fun. 

I woke up for work on the 17^th of December – I say that loosely because, when your body has been hit by a truck, you’ve been hung upside down, spun around, and your lungs filled with sand – your eyes simply opening really isn’t waking up. I had a work zoom meeting and was determined to get out of bed, but the heaviness was too much.     

I panicked thinking I was having an extreme lupus flare.  I had been feeling rough for almost two weeks, but I knew that I’d been over doing it, trying to rush about getting prepared for Christmas. The symptoms were identical to symptoms that I had experienced over the years and similar to a flare that previously had me admitted to hospital.  But the pain was different, I can’t explain how but it was.  I had a severe headache, was fuzzy and just wanted to sleep, I willed myself to stand but fell back on the bed a few times before I could.  I decided to take a COVID test and the sight of the double lines filled me with a moment of relief – I wasn’t having an acute flare.

As I was trying my best to look alert during my meeting, waves of nausea kept crashing inside me, “I had COVID and lupus!”.  I had managed to stay COVID free throughout 2020, shielding for six months and barely leaving my house after that.  When my young ones caught COVID in September 2021 despite living in the same house as them I remained well.  And now I had caught COVID ironically from spending time in an A&E waiting room three days prior to testing.   

When the test resulted as positive, I was worried. Not only do I suffer from lupus, I’m also asthmatic and COVID is known to attack the lungs, which can cause it to be fatal.  I didn’t want to end up on a ventilator but mostly I didn’t want to be admitted into hospital. Coincidentally two of the symptoms I experience during a flare are shortness of breath and severe chest pains, and this time I could feel that although my breathing was shallow, and I was constantly coughing (bringing up mucus), I could still breathe. The shortness of breath wasn’t the worst I had ever experienced. I prayed and made up my mind that I was going to be ok, this was Omicron, I was a fighter, and I would just ride it out.

I spoke with the rheumatology specialist nurse and was told to stop my Lupus medication for a minimum of fourteen days.  She explained that as the medication suppressed my immune system, and that I needed my immune system to fight the virus so taking the meds could have a negative effect.  She suggested that I spoke to the GP about taking a course of antibiotics. When I eventually got hold of the GP, I was told that it probably was Omicron, and I was probably over the worst of it so could do without the antibiotics.  Without my usual meds, the lupus was set free. I was itching, feeling the tingling all over my body.  I had night sweats, ulcers started to form in my mouth, lesions in my ear and I could feel my scalp heating up.  My body was in so much pain and all I could do was sleep and take paracetamol (my body doesn’t tolerate stronger pain killers).  I barely ate or drank because I couldn’t wake myself up and I had lost my sense of smell and taste.   People asked repeatedly how I felt, but I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, or who was winning – COVID or lupus?

Six days in, I took a lateral flow test and was still testing positive. I didn’t get a negative result until day thirteen.  I was concerned because even after the negative result my brain fog was horrendous, and I was having trouble talking and walking.  My anxiety and low mood escalated, I didn’t want to leave the house without someone being with me, and the fatigue and heaviness remained.  I was still in pain and was tearful thinking that I was returning to my pre medicated lupus state.  I welcomed the day I could start taking my meds again.  It took most of January for me to feel “normal”, but now I’m recovered, walking, talking and typing.  I’m also aware that I’ve been extremely fortunate when others weren’t so. 

Basically, in the battle between COVID and lupus, I reckon lupus won, and thankfully it kicked COVID behind.